Mood swings 13/01/2007

Sebille was feeling... she wasn't sure what the feeling was called, but 'infuriated' came quite close.

 Apparently there had been no need to avoid Null after their talk, since he had left -and again without a word. She had had no idea when he would be returning  at all and this time he had been gone the longest time yet; almost two weeks.

She'd just come from the shower when she'd been told that he was back. Up until that point she had been worried.

The closer to the room she came, the more irritated she became. She hoped she'd put on shoes that made more noise than the ones she had on. Good shoes would echo through the empty hallways and make a point. Hers just stomped dully.

How could he expect her to just wait for him when she had absolutely no idea, if he was ever coming back.

Then there was doubt: she didn't even know if he expected her to wait.

She caught herself almost knocking at his door. Why should she do that? He probably already knew she was there.

She entered and her anger wavered. He seemed so sad...


She wouldn't let him affect her mood any more. She knew it was childish and rather senseless but she wanted to be resentful. She spent too much time being all grown up and now seemed like the time to be stupid.

As usual, he didn't turn to her when she entered. Not even her loud stomping was enough to get his attention, huh?

His indifference just irritated her more when she walked to him.
" ..."

When he finally turned to look at her, he seemed calm, and still a tad sad.

Her hand was already in the air, though, and the fast, swift movement that followed could no longer be stopped by her.  And she wasn't going to hold back. She wanted it to sting.

There was a loud slam and then silence.

She took a step back, not knowing what kind of a reaction would follow.

She wasn't really scared or worried. Probably because she still felt all of her feelings boiling inside her, bursting to get out.

" ..."

And he dared to act as if he hadn't seen that coming?!

(Okay, she knew he could've blocked it if he really had wanted to, but she was much too angered to really think about such things.)

"Why... Why can't you tell me when you're going away."

"I can't stand not knowing when you're coming back -if you are coming at all. It could be three days, a week, few months. I don't know the timeframe and I don't know if I should expect you back, or if I should worry..."

She wasn't supposed to sound this whiney, but once she started speaking the anger subsided.

"I'm not asking you to tell me where or why you're going... just when."
" ..."

Her hands had started shaking all of a sudden. She tried calming herself and pulled her fingers through her still damp hair.
"I don't think I'm asking too much... Just a word, or... I don't know... a note, phonecall... anything"

She still didn't know what he was thinking, even his eyes didn't give much away this time.
" ..."

Letting out the thoughts that had haunted her for days had calmed her and she could think (almost) straight again.

She leaned forward and spoke quietly:
"I'm glad you're back, though..."

...And kissed his forehead softly.

Sebille had no intention to stay and see his reaction. She wasn't sure she could handle it right now. After going through the mess of emotions, she needed time to clear her head properly.

She had done what needed to be done: she'd told him what she wanted. The rest was up to him.


By leaving as quickly as she had entered, she missed out on something slightly unexpected.

Null looked after her.

Touched his cheek again. The stinging sensation had yet to pass.

...And  let out a small laugh.

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